In New York (aka Never Never Land) people are busy living life to the fullest and not talking about fertility. This is also what I love about my NYC group of friends, 4 AM warehouse parties are still the norm and babies a remote concept or maybe not even part of the plan.
I know everyone navigates their fertility differently or not at all. My crash course on the topic came out of necessity when I wish I had a little more time to navigate it.
I believe Women (and Men) should know their fertility and be open about this topic because it is important and in many ways taboo.
Below are a few things I didn’t know and advice I give to my friends. Every journey is different and I can only share my experiences and support those who are navigating theirs.
1. You can inform yourself about your individual fertility (without having to commit to making a baby or a partner) at any time. Gauge how easy or difficult it might be for you. More data better decisions!
Advice for both men and women, because fertility is non-gendered.
2. It is normal to take multiple months if not years to get pregnant. Try not to beat yourself up. (I struggle with this one).
I have spoken with many friends privately about how long they actually tried and was surprised and encouraged. Remind yourself that people don’t like to share the struggle – it is hard to pick the right Instagram filter. If you or your friends are not open about this topic, know 1 in 8 couples struggle with fertility.
Unfortunately, this is a female-specific issue and I don’t like telling my female friends about biological clocks (not the best NYC topic) but your early 30-year-old self-responds better to the medication and you will have healthier (eek younger) eggs to freeze. If this is something you are considering doing, it is about a 6-week commitment and exhausting. Take it as a detox from other bad habits.
4. There is a range of fertility treatments
You don’t start with IVF. Talking with a fertility expert will inform of your options.
Again MORE DATA – BETTER DECISIONS. Below are just a few:
- Pills to support follicle development and egg release
- Same drugs as a shot for more intensity
- Intrauterine insemination IUI (manually injecting sperm closer to the fallopian tubes)
- IVF – which involves the same egg retrieval process as freezing your eggs
- Surrogates for people who are unable to bring a child to term
- I am sure many other options I am yet to become aware of. One thing at a time.